Incognizant
by jezzeria
Summary: Set after Allegiant, Tobias is struggling to move on without Tris. When she visits him in his dreams he questions the line between fantasy and reality. How will he be able to tell the difference when everything he thought to be true is challenged.
1. Chapter 1

**I just finished the entire series today but I just can't stomach the end. This thought came to me a few hours ago and it just keeps nagging at me. I hope you all like it. This is told picking up after the Epilogue of Allegiant. If you haven't read it you may not want to continue as there will be spoilers. **

"Tobias, come back to me," she whispers, her fingers ghosting along my chin.

But what she doesn't realize is that she's the one that has left me. I have become nothing but an empty shell of who I once was.

"I love you."

She says it so softly I'm not sure if it's part of the dream or if it's a distant memory messing with my mind. Her face grows dimmer as I am yanked back into consciousness and I fight the urge to cry. It's nearly impossible to carry a clear image of her into the waking world anymore. Slowly she is disappearing from my memory and I hate it.

I know I am completely awake when I see the plain white walls that surround me. The sunlight peeks through the curtains casting a thin ray of light across the floor. Closing my eyes I run my hands over my face, trying to push the dream away from me. I am useless if all I can think about is her.

My mind is pulled to a rustling downstairs and I can picture Christina bustling about the kitchen. After losing Tris I couldn't stand to be alone, and Christina was the only one that truly knew the depths of my loss, so we're roommates now.

The wood flooring is cold when I step onto it, making my toes curl in protest. I make my way slowly to the delicious smell and I can't help but notice just how stealthily I still move. Even after almost three years since the rebellion I find it hard to slip into any sort of ease in this new perfect world.

Christina is no different, and I make sure to make some kind of noise before entering a kitchen. She scowls at me as I laugh.

"What's so funny?" She asks, cocking one eyebrow up at me.

"I was just remember when we first moved into together, and I accidentally snuck up on you."

"You're lucky I didn't kill you with that knife, sneaking up on me like that." She taunts me, a smile playing on her own lips.

Am I? Is on the tip of my tongue, and she must realize it because the smile disappears just as quickly as it appeared.

"I could've taken you," I grumble to try to lighten the mood but I know the damage has been done.

We are silent for a moment listening to the sizzling grease as the bacon pops and fizzes.

"You look like shit." Christina finally says, sliding an egg onto a plate before turning a piece of bacon in the pan.

I watch her, silently, unsure of what to say.

"Was she in your dream again?"

She knows. She knows because ever since the first vivid dream of Tris has started occuring everything has changed. In my dreams I can't let go of the fact that maybe she isn't really gone, only to awaken to the same harsh truth everyday. Unlike what people may say, it hasn't gotten any easier. In fact it has probably gotten harder.

"She keeps begging me to come back to her." My mouth moves but the voice is not mine, it sounds like someone broken. Not like the strong person I once was.

Christina doesn't say anything but sighs loudly before pushing a plate of food in front of me.

"Maybe you should talk to someone about all of this."

"I'm not crazy." I growl, before taking a bite out of a piece of bacon.

"I'm not saying you are. But Four, it's been four years. This isn't normal." Her eyes are pleading with me and I know she's just concerned about me but that doesn't stop my anger from flaring. I shove my plate away from me before storming out of the kitchen.

I focus only on the familiar pounding of my feet against the pavement. I have taken this walk a million times. When I can't escape the feel of Tris' fingers on my skin and the fleeting image of her face I break into a run, desperate to find some solace. Maybe Christina is right.

When I get back things aren't tense between Christina and I, and I spend the rest of the day doing busy work until I can get back to sleep. Until I can get back to her.

I fall asleep immediately, but Tris isn't there right away like usual. Panic starts to well inside my chest when I consider that maybe she isn't coming this time. For a dream time seems to stretch on forever. I am just about to give up when I see her.

Her face is blurry, but she is even more beautiful than I remember. Her blonde hair is longer than before, but she has it pulled away from her face. It's not the way she once wore it as an Abnegation, but I can't quite tell exactly how she is wearing it.

I long to reach out, to run my fingers through the silky strands but I know that is not possible. Although she is able to touch me, I am never able to touch her in the dreams.

"Tobias," she whispers, a lone tear in her eye. It hurts to see her upset when I am unable to comfort her, "where are you? Come back to me."

I want to ask her what she means, but my mouth always fails me in these moments.

"Tobias," she says a little louder. Even though she just got here she is already starting to fade and it's as if she realizes it. "TOBIAS!" I swear she screams, but it comes through as barely a whisper, "this is a simulation."

**More to come soon. If you liked it please review and let me know! Reviews encourage me to write faster :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to StormyEyesForever for the review, even if you are the only one to read I will write on for you! :) I hope I don't let you down. Also don't think I didn't notice those who favorited and followed this story, I hope you like this as well**

**I have literally been dreaming about this story all week. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. My goal is to upload regularly once a week.**

I am covered with sweat and my breathing is labored when I finally awake from my dream. This is a simulation, plays over and over in my mind. The walls begin to feel like they're closing in on me, my thoughts ricocheting off of the corners of my mind. Looking around the dimly lit room I try to ground myself in the comfort of the familiarity of my surroundings. But even the same plain walls I have stared at for years don't seem to bring me any comfort.

Running my hand over my face I berate myself for being so stupid. Of course this isn't a simulation. Simulations and serums of any kind haven't been used in the past four years. Besides, if this were a simulation, what would be the purpose?

Despite my rational thoughts I can't seem to shake the dream, unlike most nights, and this bothers me. Glancing at the clock I realize it is only 4AM. That means everyone is still asleep.

Moving as quietly as possible I slip on some clothes before tiptoeing out of the house. The last thing I need is Christina breathing down my neck. As soon as my feet hit the pavement I break into a run.

I focus on the labored sound of my breathing, and the quick thumping of my heart beneath my chest. My legs feel like springs making me teeter from side to side as each foot hits the ground.

I only stop when the sweat is burning my eyes, my hands resting on my hips. Tris is still ever present in my mind, and I realize I have come to the building I have tried to avoid for the past 4 years.

The Hancock building hovers above me, and even in the night I can make out the thin dark strip of cable that still runs from the top of the building. Despite that one similarity it is much different from the last time I was here.

No longer is it empty and lifeless. It has become an office building now, and even in the early morning a few stray lights illuminate some of the windows. My chest tightens at the thought that everyday it changes more and more. The idea of Tris flying across the sky seems faint and unnatural now.

Turning away from the building I take off into an easy jog, trying to escape the pain but not wanting to outrun the memory. When I get back to my front door I stop to admire the sun just beginning to peek around the buildings just behind me.

Opening the door I find it oddly silent. There are no sounds of breakfast cooking, and it seems even the noisy furnace is quiet for once.

Needing some water I head towards the kitchen, stopping dead in my tracks when I find Christina already there. Her arms are crossed tightly across her chest and there is fire in her eyes.

"Where were you?" She demands, her jaw tense.

"I went for a run, is that a crime?" I snap back, not liking being questioned. I am an adult after all.

One of her hands moves in front of her mouth to form a first that she leans against. She looks tired, and much older than she actually is. There is the fleeting thought that it is because of me, but before I can expand on it her words break my concentration.

"What was the dream about this time?"

"I didn't dream last night. I just woke up antsy and needed to run." I don't know why but for the first time I don't want to share my dream with her.

"That is bullshit!" Christina screams, both of her hands are clenched in fists by her sides now.

"You worry too much." I say trying to brush her off, moving next to her to pull a glass out of the cupboard above her head.

"You can't let her keep controlling you. She isn't here, Tobias. Tris is dead!"

Slamming the glass on the counter I hear it shatter against the tile, but I don't loosen my grip even when I feel the warmth of my blood seeping between my fingers.

"You know what Christina, it is none of your goddamn business what I do, or think, or fucking dream! You're not my mother, and you sure as hell aren't my girlfriend!"

Christina pales, reeling back as though she's just been slapped. I can feel that the tension is thick and awkward between us, something that I am not understanding that is unspoken between the two of us, but I refuse to back down now.

"I can't watch you self destruct anymore! This isn't healthy!" She finally hisses at me before storming out of the room.

Systematically I begin cleaning up the pieces of broken glass, dropping them into the trash. Turning on the faucet I watch the blood from my hand mix with the rushing water turning the dark crimson to a soft pink before disappearing down the drain.

My mind swims with everything from my dream to the fight I just had with Christina and I am finding it hard to sort through everything. Why is Christina so upset? Does she have feelings for me? I already know that even if she does I could never return them. The only bond I feel between us is the connection that we both lost someone we love. And that we both lost Tris. And why does Tris keep showing up in my dream? Is it a false hope, or a desperate need to keep her alive?

All of my rationality tells me I may just be losing my mind, but I can't stop the niggling feeling in the back of my mind that I am still missing something.

**Reviews are like little presents, that are even better than the gifts you find under the Christmas tree!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I am so sorry this is a day late. There has been knitting, and baking and Christmas Shopping and wrapping and good Lord I needed a vacation just to find any kind of time to write this past week! **

**Thank you to all of the new reviewers, seriously you all make me smile. Especially with some of the things you say. Without further adieu, I hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

After hearing Christina leave for work I find myself wandering around the place I have called home. The walls are complete bare and only a simple white. The furniture is also plain and boring, in fact I don't even remember picking any of it out or purchasing it. I had always just assumed Christina must have done it.

I realize that I have never questioned before how unwelcoming it feels to be here. Why are there no pictures, or knick knacks? Christina is very close to her family, visiting them at least once a week, but even her room is devoid of anything that would show that.

Maybe it's because I don't know enough about her to fill in the blanks.

The thought causes a sudden pain to shoot through my head. It feels like my mind is being ripped into two. My hands grip the sides of my skull as I sink to the floor in agony. I try to center myself by focusing on my breathing.

1...2...3...4…

"Tobias?"

My mother's voice calls out to me from the front door. In an instant the pain is gone, and I quickly pull myself up onto the couch, before Evelyn enters the room. Her eyes narrow, and just like usual I feel as though she can see right through me. We stare at one another for a moment, neither one of us wanting to be the first to break the silence.

"Sorry, the door was open. I tried knocking." My mother's voice is sickly sweet, and I can see right through the fake smile she has plastered on her face.

"No problem," I mumble under my breath, waiting for her to get to the chase.

Walking to the window I watch Evelyn cross her arms as she stares out into the overgrown garden. I can see the stress and anxiety etched into her face. Although my mother and I had tried to mend our relationship, for me there was just too much mistrust to be able to let her back in. That doesn't stop me from feeling guilty that somehow my actions seem to be hurting her right now.

"Christina called me."

Evelyn is the one to finally break the silence.

"Awesome."

I can't stop the anger from seething into my voice. I can't shake the feeling that Christina has betrayed me, even though in the back of my mind I try to tell myself that she is only trying to help.

"You're dreaming about her still."

Her words come out as a statement, and I hate her for them. I hate to think of her and the precious, fleeting moments I share with Tris, combining into one big pile.

"Do you love me?" She asks me, spinning around to face me.

Her question catches me off guard and I watch her brows furrow. I can see just how much she has aged, and that sense of guilt creeps up even further, threatening to smother me.

"Mom…" I start but she cuts me off, holding her hand up to stop me.

"What is it about her that makes you love her more?"

I'm not sure how to answer her question without hurting her.

"You are my mother. Of course I love you. But Tris…," for once my mother doesn't interject but stares at me in anticipation, "is my everything. I don't want to move on without her. I could never be with anyone else. I don't want to forget her."

"You say it like she is still alive. Beatrice is dead, Tobias!" My mother's sudden anger catches me off guard, making me tense against the cushion I am propped against. The tension between us is thick and we are at another standoff, waiting for the other to finally speak.

I pick haphazardly at a loose string pressed into the corner of the couch. My other hand tenses into a fist for a moment before releasing. I will not let Evelyn get the best of me.

"We are just worried about you." She finally says, her voice full of fake concern.

"There's nothing to be worried about."

"It's been four years. You are not a functional member of society. You can't hold a job. You are experiencing hallucinations about someone who has passed away. Maybe it's time for you to see someone."

"They are not hallucinations, they are dreams. They are memories, that I refuse to forget! And it's not about me being a functional member of society, is it mom?! It's because you wanted me to run for some kind of government office, and I didn't. You wanted to ride on my coat tails, and I refused to let you push me into that."

"You could have been a great leader! Instead you are squandering your life away day dreaming about a little girl you had a crush on. We could have had it all! I could have had everything!"

"Even if I had run for office I would've never let you have any sort of say! You are just as power hungry as my father!"

The echo of her slap seemed to linger in the room, but I was too angry to even feel the sting in my cheek.

"It's time to grow up Tobias." Evelyn moves so that her face is only inches from mine, and I can smell the sour stench of her breath. Despite her words her voice is even, causing goosebumps to ripple up my arms. "Just because you have a dream that you're in a simulation doesn't mean you actually are."

"I never told you what my dream was about."

**So I have a little challenge for you. I have already started writing Chapter 4 and with any luck I will be done within the next few hours of this being posted. IF we can get to, ohhhh, 15 reviews by Monday I will post the next chapter for you Christmas Eve. Deal?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Well hello there.**

**I am posting this a day earlier than Christmas Eve because A) I am too impatient to wait and B) tomorrow is Christmas Eve and we should all be with our families not buried in an update!**

**And for the person who felt I was "holding my story hostage" I am sorry you felt this way. My reasoning was not for reviews, or I would've set the bar much higher, but because I was offering an entire extra chapter a few days after a previous post and I wanted to make sure someone was actually going to read it before I took time away from all of my family to write this. **

**Thank you all who are supporting me. I am glad we get to experience this together.**

Time seems to stand still. I watch Evelyn process her blunder. My mind races as she fumbles for an excuse for her mistake.

"You must have told Christina, and she told me." She waves her hand around as if to dismiss the thought, but I can see the sweat forming on her brow.

"I didn't tell Christina anything."

"Don't be ridiculous, Tobias. You obviously told someone. I am not a mind reader." There is a fire in her eyes that is almost daring me to question her reasoning.

"Or this is actually a simulation."

"That is absurd, do you even hear yourself talking right now?" She hisses but I can see her face turning red in anger.

Everything seems to look differently to me. Turning I begin to walk out of the room. I need to get away but I have no idea where to go.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!"

I freeze. Instead of my mother's voice it is my fathers. Turning I find him standing next to her, a belt held high in his hand.

"Don't you dare disrespect us!"

But before he can move I have bolted to the front door. Yanking it open I collide with Christina.

"Whoa, where's the fire? What's going on?" Why is she here? She hasn't even been gone an hour. Christina smiles at me, but for the first time I can see the ingenuine look in her eyes.

"I have to get out of here." I say, trying to push past her but she is blocking my path.

"Tobias, you can't leave."

Something wars inside of me. I want to listen to the person who has been my best friend through some of the hardest moments of my life, but how can I do that if she's not real?

The idea that if Christina isn't real means that somewhere Tris is real and that is enough motivation to get me to elbow my way past her.

"Sorry," I shout behind me, still feeling badly that my shoulder hit her so hard.

My feet fall with a resounding thud against the ground, and I try to match the vigorous thud of my heart. I fear that they are all following me, closing in at any moment, but I don't dare to look behind me. I try not to panic only focusing on where to go next.

Before I even realize what I am doing I find myself in front of the Hancock building once again. I have to shield my eyes as I stare up at it to be able to see the top.

Reaching for the door handle I breathe a sigh of relief when it swings open freely. I finally glance behind me, satisfied to note that nobody is there. Yet. The possibility that looms over me makes me scramble inside.

I choose to take the stairs instead of the elevator. There was something about running in a stairwell that seemed calming to me. My feet echoed off the walls resounding high above me as I followed the sound. Each new step made another loud slapping noise to replace the sound of one that has just dissipated.

It seemed like no time before I reached the door to the roof. I was drenched with sweat from the exertion, and quickly wiped the back of one hand across my forehead.

I was grateful when the door opened easily, it had never occurred to me that the roof door might be locked as well. Making my way to the edge I leaned on the wall that separated myself from a long free fall back down to earth, but for the first time I wasn't worried about the height.

My mind was racing a million miles a minute and I couldn't make sense of anything. Was this really a simulation? Or maybe I was hallucinating. And if this were a simulation how would I get out of it? How long had I been here?

Hours passed without me noticing, until the bright reds of the setting sun reflected off of another building nearby. With the confusion of everything I felt this need to be close to Tris. Looking around my eyes finally settled on the zip line.

There has been talk of taking it down. Some people say it is unsafe, others want to get rid of any last reminder of the factions, and this was a big one for the dauntless. Just the thought of losing another piece of Tris, even something as small and simple as a line of wire makes my chest tighten.

Walking over to it I notice that the straps are still connected to the wire. Without thinking I strap myself in, the way I was so many years ago. Stepping up onto the edge I spread my arms out wide before pushing off of the edge with all of my might.

The wind is harsh against my face, and my eyes feel dry like sandpaper but I refuse to let them close. Everything around me is quiet and I am at peace. I do not focus on what is below me but at what is in front of me. The land below seems to stretch into a vast expanse, and even though I know it is much larger I feel like I can see the entire world from here.

My mind barely registers the garbled screeching of tearing metal, and even when I watch the line that had been suspending me only moments ago fly past me towards earth I refuse to look down. Leaving my arms outstretched I feel myself continue to fly forward on my own for a moment, and when I finally start to feel myself descend I close my eyes.

I have never felt more free.

**Oh god, I am sorry to leave this here! Next chapter will be on Saturday. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! And if you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope you at least get to enjoy some time with your family.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry I am a little late. Got in a little fender bender, I'm alright I was just really shaken up by the whole thing. **

**Thank you all who are reading, reviewing, or just plain enjoying. **

There is a sharp sound coming from somewhere in the distance of my mind. It reverberates off the walls of my mind, making it nearly impossible to find the cause of it. The noise is incessant and steady, and giving me a major headache. I just want it to stop, to be quiet for just one second. Instead it steadily seems to grows closer and closer.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

My mind is a mess of images, but none of them make sense. Blue eyes. Black hair. Dark eyes. A crack of what sounds like a whip. And the tiniest whisper come back to me.

My eyes snap open and it feels like I am gasping for air. Have I been holding my breath? Everything is blurry and the lights are too bright.

"He's waking up," a deep voice comes from beside me but it sounds like they are underwater.

"Should I go get her?" A lighter voice asks from somewhere else in the room.

Who are they trying to get?

"No, not yet."

"She said if there was any change to let her know."

"I don't want to get her hopes up."

"Four?" The male voice asks me, his face suddenly too close for comfort. "Can you hear me?"

I want to say something, but it feels like my mouth has been plastered shut. A garbled sound comes from somewhere, and by the look of hope on the man's face I realize it must've been from me.

"Do you know where you are?" He asks, but I can only try to shake my head. My eyes flitting around the room trying to find something familiar.

The incessant beeping seems to be getting louder, and the man looks up at something behind me that I can't quite make out.

"Okay I need you to calm down. Everything is going to be alright." He tries to reassure me, but I can feel the panic rising in my chest.

Where am I? What is going on?

"I think we need to get her now."

"NOT YET!" He yells and I suddenly feel like I am being smothered.

Everything hits me like a ton of bricks. Images rush back to me as I remember the heavy loss of Tris' death that I constantly carried around. My dysfunctional relationship with my mother. The unexpected friendship I found in Christina. I remember the dreams, and my last confrontation with my family.

Is that who they are calling? Christina? Maybe my mother?

The idea of seeing either one of them at this point makes me want to run. Sitting straight up on the table I seem to be on I realize that I am hooked to multiple machines. My mind flashes back to my last flight down the Hancock building and I am pleasantly surprised at the lack of damage I seem to have sustained.

Or have I been unconscious long enough to heal?

"Four, I need you to lay back down." The male says, and I see just the tip of a syringe that he is trying to hide behind his back.

"Don't touch me with that!" I hear myself attempt to shout, although my voice cracks and comes out more of a whisper instead.

"Look at me Four. I need you to breathe. Can you do that for me?" He asks and I begin to see black spots dot my vision.

I am hyperventilating. My chest heaves in search for air. I don't understand what's happening, my system is on overload.

"Come on Four, breathe with me. I don't want to have to sedate you but I will."

Opening my mouth I force myself to take a huge gulp of air. The oxygen rushes to my brain that has been deprived too long and I immediately feel dizzy, my eyes rolling back into my head.

"I'm going to call her! She needs to be here for this!" The woman demands and for the first time I can see her. Her hair is blonde with dark streaks. She is standing with her hands on her hips and her mouth is formed into a tight line.

"Not yet, I can get him to calm down!"

"And if you can't, he may never wake up again. She needs to see him!" Her face is red with anger and she looks like a tomato that's about to burst.

"Fine! FINE!" He yells, rubbing one hand across his face in defeat. "But tell her to get here as fast as she possibly can. It looks like I'm going to have to sedate him."

I try to push my arms and legs against him. I don't want him to inject me. I don't want them to call whoever they are calling. I am almost certain now that it will be Christina, and I am feeling hurt by her betrayal. Hurt that she called my mother on me, whom she knows I struggle to not despise.

I try to fight off him off, but I am too weak and we both know it. I am frightened, especially since that girl seemed to believe I may not survive whatever is in the syringe.

"I'm sorry, I really am." He says softly, pressing his upper body down onto me to hold me still. I can almost feel as the plunger is depressed, the liquid spreading like icy fire throughout my veins.

"Wait!" A familiar voice calls out to us.

"Christina," I manage to mutter in an attempt to make her leave and for a moment I think I can make out the image of blonde hair before the blackness takes over.

**I feel like the queen of cliffy's writing this story.**

**I hope you all had a Merry Christmas! What is everyone's plans for New Years?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you as usual for all of your kind words! Some of you are getting as excited as I am about where this is headed. **

**I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend, and enjoy the chapter!**

The beeping is what wakes me again. But this time I feel groggy and drugged. The people above me are wearing ugly green hospital masks.

"Just hold on son, you took a nasty fall." The muffled voice of one of them says but I can't make out which one exactly.

I try to lift my head trying to take in more of my surroundings. I am only able to lift it slightly, but my head feels like it weighs a ton. The person closest to my right shoulder places his latex covered hand on my arm, and shakes his head in disapproval. Letting my head fall back against the table I try to take deep breaths but everything inside of me hurts.

As I struggle to breathe I can feel myself slipping back under.

I don't know how much time has passed, but this time when I wake I am in a different room. Everything looks too pristine, even the walls seem to have a shine. The cannula in my nose is cold and tickles me with every breath.

I try to lift my arms to rub away some of the annoyance. I really just want to take the stupid tubes out, but my arms feel like dead weight, and don't move even with my effort. Needing to look around I attempt to lift my head, again to no avail. Looking up I can see metal rods stretching across my forehead and realize that I am in a head brace. My eyes travel as far down my body as possible without movement and I notice casts on both my arms and legs.

"Tobias, you're awake." Christina's voice says from somewhere to my right. Before I can try to strain myself to find her she moves into my eyesight, smiling slightly at me, but the smile doesn't reach her eyes.

"You really gave us a scare there." She tells me, her eyes traveling sadly down my body as she takes in all the damage.

"What happened?" It comes out barely a whisper of breath, but somehow she still hears me.

"You jumped off the Hancock building."

"No." I try to refute, because that isn't what happened.

"What were you thinking?!" She asks me angrily. I can see her knuckles turning white as she grips the bar to the side of my bed.

Her reaction makes me want to tell her to just leave. She is not allowed to be angry at me when I am so angry at her. But the machines are beeping angrily at both of us as my heart rate escalates. A nurse comes in, pushing Christina to the side, and begins to fiddle with the machine.

"Christina," I begin, set on telling her to leave, just as the nurse pushes the button for another dose of morphine and I am again lost to the darkness.

This time when I awake there is no beeping. It is so quiet I hear myself sigh in relief. Looking to my left I see Christina. She is wearing different clothes from before and looks bored. It takes her a moment to realize I am awake.

"Hey, are you hungry or anything?" She asks me. Just her voice seems different to me, but I can't pinpoint exactly why.

"Water," I croak out, my lips cracking from just the effort.

The slow sound of the water pouring from the container into the styrofoam cup is maddening. Holding it to my lips, she nods at me to take a drink. The water is cool and I can feel it as it glides all the way down.

The air between us is thick and awkward.

"Why are you here?" I finally ask, breaking the silence.

"She wanted me here. I don't really understand why, but here I am." She says cryptically.

"My mother?"

The way she eyes me, almost panicked, gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach.

"I think I should just page her now. She'll be mad if she misses you waking up again." She says, walking out of the room.

"Wait," I manage, my arm gripping her wrist loosely.

It is at that moment that the door opens.

Tris is staring at us, her eyes betraying her emotions as she takes in my hand on Christina's arm. This must look horrible, and I feel like I may vomit at any moment.

"I'll just leave you two…" She stammers, turning to walk out of the room.

"Tris." My voice is quiet but reverent as I stare at her like a man lost in a desert who has just found his oasis.

She stops in her tracks, but doesn't turn to face me. I can see her shoulders shaking slightly. Is she crying?

"Please, don't leave me again." I beg, as my own emotions begin to overtake me.

"I'm just going to…" Christina says, pointing her thumb behind her shoulder, but when she realizes that neither of us are paying attention to her she sidesteps around Tris before exiting the room.

Tris still has her back to me, and I desperately need her to turn around. I need to know that I am not losing my mind.

"Tris," I try again, but this time her name comes out as a sob.

Turning to look at me her eyes are brimming with tears. She walks slowly towards me, cocking her head to one side before her hand reaches out to swipe away the tears I didn't know were sliding down my cheeks.

"Please," Is all I can say before she climbs into the tiny bed with me. Her arms wrap around shoulders, her fingers brushing lightly through my hair. Burying my head in her neck it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders as I sob without abandon.

**Thus begins the journey between the two worlds. As of this moment, which one do YOU believe to be real? And of course we all know which one we WANT, I mean we are here reading FF right? But which universe seems more real? **

**See you about the same time next week!**


End file.
